I figured I'd just write something for the sake of having written something.
Today was silly. I was anxious for some reason when I got home from school, and I was talking to my friend on Facebook and then I got even more anxious. I decided that I should take a walk to clear my head, and I went by myself even though my friend asked if he could come too. That made me feel mean, but that would have made me explode with anxiety.
It's kind of difficult to explain why certain things make you nervous. Sometimes you don't want to see someone, but not because you're angry with him; maybe you're afraid you'll do something wrong or you think he has secret motives or even just being with other people feels wrong. Sometimes I don't so much feel anxious as I feel like something is out of place, horribly out of place, and that's what causes the apprehension. So I suppose taking a walk with anyone but myself felt out of place at the time.
I'm nervous because this weekend I'm going to two near-consecutive social gatherings, one on Friday and the other on Saturday. That feels nervous.
I didn't give my mom a hug before bed; that feels nervous.
It's so weird.
It's eleven o' two and I write things that don't make sense when I am tired even though it's not even midnight yet. This keyboard is so tiny. I have a netbook and my typing is all weird on a normal computer because I'm used to this shrunken keyboard now.
1 comment:
:) You are special.
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