Boasting.doc; Microsoft Word

I usually write free-verse but I think this poem is funniest if it rhymes. I know this isn't, um, professional, but someday I'll write as well as the pros. I was inspired by Shell Silverstein and my mother's good friend, Guy Mayhem.

Boasting

I can fly

Seven feet high

On my trapeze.

So you can go eight

Well, that’s just great

But you really have to hear

That I can wiggle my ears.

Oh, no.

You can wiggle your nose

Back and forth and up and down

Side to side

And all around town.

That’s quite swell

But everyone knows

That I can balance

On my toes!

Oh, dread.

So you can balance on your head.

That is quite an amazing thing,

But I can dance and I can sing,

I can stomp and I can shout

I can laugh and run about.

These things you can do, too

Instead of sit

And brag about you.

What?

What is that terrible thing you say?

You think that I should go and play?

Instead of sit and tell great lies

Of how I can go

Seven feet high?

Well, where did you hear

Such trashy talk?

I think you should take a walk!

Go cool off and get some air

And let us never go back to there

To that state

Where best friends hate

And never, ever congratulate

Each other.

Even still you seem to think

That my brain has got a kink.

I’m sick of you, I really am, you’re a mindless, stupid dope

You think that you are better than me

(Well, you only hope).

So go away

I want to play

Alone.

I’m going to find a new friend

And our friendship will never end.

Oh look, here comes someone now

I think that I

Shall take a bow

Then I’ll look up

And I will say:

“Hi, do you want to play today?”

And they’ll reply, “Yes,

Of course I do,

I was hoping

That you’d play, too.”

Then we’ll trot off together,

Like best friends do.

I’ll then jump up and down

And I’ll touch the sky,

And I’ll nudge my friend and say:

“Bet you can’t go that high.”