Monday, May 31, 2010

nuclear bombs and other weirdness

I was in a big room with lots of physical challenges, like a small white hill where you had to jump up and grab something at the top. My cousins were there with me and I always lost to them at the challenges and I never won a prize. I was upset at this.
Then the scene changed and I was standing on the outskirts of my hometown, watching as panicked citizens tried to escape and find refuge from the nuclear bombs that Korea was about to launch. I was with three engineers, one a woman and the other two men. We had escaped from town, but we wouldn't be safe from the bomb and its radioactivity. We piled into my mom's old blue station wagon, which apparently was working just fine, and we drove to an old mansion. We somehow were going to survive the explosion by taking refuge in the stairwell fire escape outside. We couldn't let the building collapse on us, though, so we had to stay pressed up against the wall furthest from the house. The female engineer had set up big boards standing vertically above the stairwell in attempt to stop the explosion from reaching us. Now all we could do was wait for the bomb to go off.
We waited anxiously, not knowing if our lives were soon to end or if we would survive. Eventually the bomb went of and the blast violently devastated our mansion. I was terrified. Once the explosion had done its work, I saw that the woman had died--and I had too. But luckily, I still got to watch my dream.
The Koreans had discovered that the bomb had not killed everyone it was supposed to, so the two surviving engineers learned that the Koreans were going to launch the Assassin--a supposedly more deadly weapon than the previous nuclear bomb. The engineers didn't know what to expect from the new bomb, so they continued to cower helplessly in the stairwell. I watched as the bomb went off, but not only was there an explosion, but a flow of boiling lava commenced to flow and smother everything. I watched in terror (in my dead form) as lava poured into the stairwell and killed the engineers.
The scene changed again. I was in something like a giant aquarium with fish, except I was alive and I could breathe. Every once in a while a cloud of black smoke would fill a large section of the aquarium and pull some frightened fish inside. I always managed to avoid it. When the black smoke was absent, the place was relatively cheerful and I talked to other people inside.
I left the aquarium and stood outside with my friend Joseph. There were white pillars outside of it. They looked sort of Greek. We were watching something on a laptop and some other people were with us. Someone was telling us about the nuclear bomb that devastated Idaho and its residents and I was feeling scared and sick. I was standing close to Joseph--too close for comfort if this were reality, but I felt less scared when he was there. I laid my head on my shoulder and he laid his atop mine, and he comforted me as we watched a video of the nuclear bomb.

mustard...or ketchup

An old dream.

I was in the gym at my old daycare, except the floor wasn't there. In its place was a swimming pool with purplish, murky water. On the opposite wall was a short waterslide with a tugging current. I edged along the wall to the waterslide and climbed up. I didn't really want to go in the scary-looking pool, but the current tugged me in and as I fell a giant bottle of mustard (or ketchup, I wasn't sure) exploded to my right. I was submerged by in dark water. All around me was black, but in front of me were what looked like eyes--a hundred eyes on a giant squid. I was scared and swam back to the surface, and despite being frightened already, I went back to the waterslide and climbed back up. This happened repeatedly until I woke up.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

another set of drawings

Some really old drawings. I did these during the second trimester of seventh grade (a few months ago, haha). They're not bad...but not good, either.






stupid mockingbird

On an early autumn morning
When the sun was coming out,
A mockingbird alighted
With intents devout,
For all the birds had gathered
And fluttered all about.

For the time for love had come
And new chicks would soon be hatched,
But the mockingbird sighed alone
Because she was not yet matched.

The mockingbird surveyed the
Vast array of birds,
Curiously tilting her head
In search of someone she preferred.
She called out to the expanse
Of feathers and talons,
Hoping she would have a chance,

And no sooner had she sung
Than she saw the perfect bird
A scarlet cardinal who was cocky and young
With dark and sparkling eyes.

Fluffing up her feathers,
And chirping in delight,
The mockingbird decided
That she'd be perfectly polite.
She flew over happily
And cocked her head to the side
And whistled a sweet little tune
That implored that she become his bride.

But cardinal turned his back on her
And stuck his beak high in the air,
For she didn't fit his tastes
And for her chiming voice he didn't care.

In a second flat he had flown
To a flowering brach high above
To croon to a prettier a bird--
An ethereal white and dainty dove.
The mockingbird watched in sorrow
And turned away to fly home
Because maybe tomorrow
Another bird would come along.

When she had finally found her mate,
A cheery little parakeet,
She was quite happy, don't forget
But somehow she felt incomplete.
While flying through the air
In lattice patterns with her love
The mockingbird was reminded
Of the cardinal and his flawless dove.

She felt like she was royalty
When her parakeet was near her,
For he treated her with utmost care
As though she were some priceless treasure.
The mockingbird flew far with
Her handsome parakeet,
Until he was shot to the ground
And landed at a hunter's feet.

For he'd thrown himself in front of her
In attempts to save his wife
For she meant more to him
Than his own shortened life.
It was then that the mockingbird's heart
Was filled clear to the brim,
For now she finally realized
What she meant to him.

She loved the parakeet more
Than any cardinal or bird
And she wanted to be very sure
Her song in his memory was heard.
She sang a pitiful melody
Because at long last, now she knew,
That sparing her life and losing his own
Wasn't something the cardinal would do.

forgetfulness

My mommy made a blog post and she says that she will abandon the internet for awhile...I'm pretty sure that's what she was implying. I don't know what to say to this, because I'm the one who has been pestering her about using the computer frequently, when I actually use it more than she. I feel guilty. I don't know if it's necessary for me to feel guilty, but I feel like I've made Mom sad...I don't want her to be sad. What's more, I forgot that we were going to go to Trish's ballet class today and so I missed it. I was reminded of this by Mom's comments on my Facebook page. I'm thinking this anxiety might be because I also forgot to take my fluoxetine last night.

Ah, I'm so worried. I hope she's not mad at me.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Vacation resorts

I was blog-surfing and I came across a blog whose author has been posting brief summaries of her recent dreams, and I decided to follow suit...call me a faker, a copy-cat, a poser...I don't care. I was inspired. This dream from last night was rather boring. I miss the colorful dreams I had in the past. I will try to write them down here in the near future.

I was at a sanded cliff that had been turned into a vacation resort and I was scared to go on the "slide" because it was really just a sloped, jagged rock falling into the water. So instead I just cannon-balled right off the side of the cliff to swim. Barrett was with me, and we wanted to go to another resort, so I pulled him in a red wagon for what seemed like miles down a rugged, dusty dirt path until we came to the place which was a waterfall with orangey water because the area was caught in constant sunset. This place was not as crowded as the other resort. I had heard from another tourist that it took days to get from one resort to the other, but for some reason Barrett and I had to travel back and forth over and over again. The journey took considerably less time as we walked more and more.

Hopes for summertime!


I have nothing to do.

School ended yesterday and now it is summer!

I'm going to junior high next year and I am scared. I'm nervous for the new school and teachers, and where in the world will my bus stop be? I--am--so--anxious. But at least I have the whole summer ahead of me! Hopefully I can actually take advantage of the new free time instead of being lazy and sleeping in like the last couple years. The only things I really remember ever doing during summer was watching TV, using the computer, doing ad floats for the 4th of July parade and visiting my grandma (during which time I also sat at the computer).

This year will be different!

I want to go boating with my daddy and go tubing in canals! He has this old boat that hardly works. It's very stubborn. It's also yellow...light mustard yellow. :)

With my mommy I will take walks and do other fun stuff! I want to do lots of stuff with my best friend (my mommy).

Maybe I will get out and be more social! I am a very antisocial person. I'd love to have friends over but I get very nervous. Maybe I will build up my courage and get out and hang with my friends and actually learn how to be a friend instead of a person who is always in the house on the computer or in her own backyard jumping on the trampoline.

Trampolines are so cool.