whoosh

I am not in a good mood.

Actually, if I really were to describe my mood, I'd tell you that I have no mood at all. I feel blank, like a whoosh sort of mood. I feel isolated and caught in my own pointless existence. I wish I had a friend to go visit. I wish something would happen to me, but instead I sit around the house doing nothing but think about what I wish I was doing. I wish someone would invite me to their house...did you know that no one ever has? I've never gone to play at someone else's house. I'm thirteen, for heaven's sake, and I'm an asocial wreck. I have no social life, and my most recent dream reminds me of that.

Speaking of which, do you know why I write about my dreams? It's because otherwise, there would be nothing for me to write about. My life is just dull right now. I wish I could see my family. I haven't seen them in a year, you know! I'm so lonely. I think that Mom is at physical therapy, so there's no one for me to talk to. Do you know what she said to me today in the car?

"I'm so glad that Ethan and Tristan are such good friends."

Pause.

"I wish you had a best friend, too."

So do I. You needn't remind me. :(

"I mean, besides me. I think I'm cool and all, but don't you think that you need friends your own age?"

Actually, Mom, yes. I do think I need a best friend to talk to. I do need to stop being a weird teenager with no social life. I do wonder what it would be like to have a best friend my age. I do wish I had one. And most of all, I wonder why no one does want to be my friend.

I do feel lonely. I do want to get out of here. I wish I was someone else, and not the dorky kid I am. If I had the choice, I would change into a cat. Then all the other cats would be my friends (as long as they weren't territorial like normal cats) and it wouldn't matter if the humans preferred dogs to me, because I could live my own cat-life with my mate and it wouldn't make a difference to me if humans didn't like me. For all I would care, humans would be big, lumbering, bald animals who had the firm belief that they were the most intelligent creatures in the universe, which they are not. I do not like humans at all. I really wish I was a cat.

Cats are so nice. I have two cats, you know; Willow and Mao Chu. Whenever some imbecile says "I HATE cats!", it makes me sad inside, because I LOVE them. Cats are the only animals I can really relate to. They seem a little like I am. I like dogs, too, just not as much. Cats have the most beautiful quality about them. They're so graceful, and they can be nice, but they're reserved, mysterious creatures...I really wish I was one of them...

...

YOU SEE WHY I'M SUCH A WEIRDO?!