i want to jump off teh roofs

Christmas was as awkward as I thought it would be. But after the eating of tacos was done, I got to play with electronic trains and cars with my soon-to-be stepbrothers and Ethan, Leigha and Barrett. Somehow all of the children ages five to seventeen were greatly amused by my grandparent's collection of toys for an hour or so, especially the car tracks. We made a game in which all of the cars had to team up together to knock the only train off the tracks. I happened to be controlling the train.

Right now I'm at my almost gramma's house, and I'm sitting in the living room. I'm typing on the computer. Darren is talking on the phone. Mom is reading Mockingjay (which I finished awhile back and it was magnificent). My almost relatives are sitting on the couch across the room. April is reading children's books to herself. I think she's older than I am. My almost stepbrother is making a website. My almost step-aunt is sitting in a chair.

The scene is very animated despite the image that must have been conjured in your head. My almost cousin is talking with my almost stepbrother as he makes his website and people get up to move every few moments.

I came alone, just with Mom and Darren. Ethan, Leigha and Barrett are at my dad's house in Rexburg "helping" him pack--Ethan is probably playing Fable on Xbox, Leigha is most likely playing Animal Crossing on GameCube, Barrett is sitting alone somewhere happily and contentedly moving his toy cars along the floor, Dad is doing whatever he needs to do.

Ethan's birthday was yesterday. I chose Fable III for his present. Dad was a little worried about buying it and thought my mom wouldn't approve. But I told him it'd be fine. Ethan's not easily influenced by things as trivial as video games. Apparently Ethan told Mom he was given a CD for his birthday to cover up the fact that he got a violent game, but I exposed the truth pretty quickly.

Mom was asking me what we did for his birthday and said, "So all he got for his birthday was that CD?" and I said, "A CD? No, we got him Fable Three." then she said, "Oh, is that right?" and I laughed.

"They were probably afraid to tell you. Tavis has it, though." (And I thought that my almost stepbrother having the game justified Ethan's ownership of Fable III, so I hadn't worried about Mom being mad.)

"I know Tavis has it."

So, I really hope she doesn't get upset...I was actually the one to choose the game in the first place, so all the blame rests on me if she deems it inappropriate for a thirteen-year-old.

I want to read Hunger Games again. I'm jealous of the people that don't know what's going to happen. I want to be all excited by it again and reread parts over and over because I love it so much! Ahh. I hate finishing a good book series.

And when Ethan was here he and Tylan and Michael and Tanner were jumping off the roof. I'm jealous.

merry christmas (eve)!

I don't think I can blog tomorrow because we're going to Idaho. It's going to be an awfully long, awfully tedious drive. I can't handle long drives well. Especially when people are saying, "ARE WE THERE YET ARE WE THERE YET ARE WE THERE YET?!" I hate that.

And then I'll have to see my family and go through the usual interrogations..."How are you?" Pretty aggravated, actually. "How has your time been in your new home?" I like it because I don't have to worry about what you guys think all the time. "Do you like school?" Oh yes. I do love taking naps in class. "Do you have any new friends?" No. "Well, we sure did miss you." I--cough--missed you--cough--too.

Yeah...

But I'm not that negative. Really. It'll be good to see them again...I guess...I mean, I should be happy, right? I suppose I'm just an ungrateful jerkish person. Well, we'll get to sing carols and eat and stuff. It's just the...talking part I don't really like.

But then I'll go see my OTHER family, which is a whole different story. They're really relaxed, nice people. They don't brag to each other, you know, like "So-and-so had a recital and she was the star!" They're all just happy to see each other and they play games and eat. And I like the talking there. We talk about whatever we want to instead of how we're enjoying school.

But what I really like about Christmas is the non-extended-family part. With just my siblings and me and Mom or Dad. It's better because we're not worrying about everyone else. And even if we argue it's resolved because since we have to live together we've grown accustomed to solving things pretty quickly.

Hopefully we can all just get along and enjoy the spirit of Christmas and Jesus' birth...RIGHT!?

projectile motion, WOOT

Okay, okay, okay! So what I have to do is a science project on trajectory and projectile motion, and I found out I have to do it over Christmas break--which I CAN'T, because I need the school's basketball court, and I don't know if my family has a basketball hoop. What am I going to DO? EEEK! I'm terrified. :/

people with funny hair write good books

I finished A Separate Peace.

I don't normally recommend books from the sixties, or whenever it was written, because I don't like book from that time (normally), because the people had funny hair. But Mom said they still think the same as we do. But yes, I recommend this book. It's good. I think it's a movie, but I haven't seen it. I doubt it does the book justice.

It takes place in the early 1940s. It's about a boy named Gene who has a friend named Phineas (whom everyone calls Finny). Finny is very good at sports and Gene is jealous. They all like to jump from a tree over the river by their school because they believe it will somehow prepare them for the army. I can't tell you much else; it'll give away everything...at first you think the book is a little boring, but it gets very intense later.

So...READ IT YOU LAZY BUMS! :3

terrible typing (that was so lame)

I have really bad typing technique.

I can't get more than 30 WPM without looking at the keyboard and I hold my hands in such a way that I'm prone to developing carpal tunnel syndrome (which I think I already have). I also don't go back to the home keys when I type; my fingers just go where they will.

In order to pass my typing test I must get greater then or equal to 30 WPM, not look at the keyboard and have less than six errors when typing a few paragraphs.

I have a feeling I will still be in typing class in high school.

elise finally woke up

And then she stood, walked groggily into her safehouse without acknowledging the zombie watching her hungrily from the street, and collapsed again on the floor, falling into a deep sleep. Awaiting more Action Points so that in the future she would be capable of actions less boring, Elise snored nonchalantly in the midst of the zombie apocalypse.

In other words, she woke up, moved, and fell asleep again. How lame is that!? It's like one of those giant fat cats that only move to find a sunnier place by the window. Anyway, at least nothing can eat me now. I'm safe!

elise is sleeping and she won't wake up

I'm playing an awfully fun MMORPG called Urban Dead--at which I inevitably suck, because I can't seem to plan my moves properly, despite doing tons of research (strange, isn't it, to research a game?). But anyway, I know you're not supposed to tell people what you're doing in the game to prevent them from killing you, but at this point I really don't care because I had gone to scout out the area and ended up falling asleep OUTSIDE of my safehouse. So far a zombie has clawed me repeatedly, three times, I think, and it's been about a half hour and my character still won't wake up. She's supposed to gain one AP (Action Point) every half hour, but she is still sleeping like a baby, apparently perfectly content with taking a little nap in the streets of a zombie-infested city with no protection whatsoever save a pistol which she has no idea how to use. All I need is ONE LITTLE AP and I can get her to safety, but apparently running a few blocks tires her out very quickly. She'll be a zombie before I get my next AP. >.<

...Yep, so after a full forty-five minutes Elise is still asleep. No zombies have bothered to stop and claw her, luckily. Some people just don't understand the phrase "zombie apocalypse", particularly Elise Willington (my character). If she becomes an undead, I'll soon have to plan the safest route to a revivification point where I'll have to wait for at least a week to be revived by a NechroTech employee, and then create a safe route back to my safehouse. Oh, so tedious! But at least there's TONS of information on Wikipedia. I suppose it should be easy enough...or not. :/

new blog

I'm going to make a new blog because my blog here feels old. It's too weak to hold everything. That's weird, right? WRONG! But the problem is that Blogger wants me to verify my identity, but get this: I don't have a cell phone! Did you hear that, Blogger, Google, or GMail? NO CELL PHONE! >.<

'Kay. So hopefully they'll let me start a new one later...hahaha. Blogger upsets me.

Medicine that makes you sick

I moved.

Talk about short, sweet, and to the point!

But seriously. I moved.

I now live in Provo, which seems both huge and tiny at the same time. I don't know why. I haven't seen Dad in a few weeks because he's still moving out of his condo in Idaho.

Ethan had to get vaccinations to be able to go to school in Provo, and he got sick. He stayed home today while I went to the middle school for the first time. You'd think shots would prevent illnesses, but nooo....he got sick! Way sick! The poor boy stayed home drawing, eating bowls and bowls of cereal, and using my computer....I told him not to. But since he's sick I'll let this one time slide....this ONE TIME.

Funny that I used to be in junior high back in Idaho, and before that I was in middle school. Now I'm in middle school AGAIN. I feel like a child. I happened to show up on the day they were having a "fall party", apparently. I met a few people but their names all slip my mind. NO, I WILL NOT DO MY HOMEWORK! BLOG FIRST!!

>.<

SO....I suppose I must go do my homework. Bye marshmallows.

faerie silhouette painting

Here are the paintings I did at my Aunt Melanie's house. I put more effort into the second one.

And here is a picture of my cat because I love her:

so excited

I was in Utah for all of last week and I had the best time ever! I saw my cousins Nora, Belle, Audrey, Cyrus, Logan, and Gabriella. I slept at Nora's house with the rest of the girls and Logan and Ethan stayed at Grandma's.

Ethan and Logan got boomerangs, which were promptly thrown either onto the roof or in a tree. They tried to get Ethan's out of the tree using Audrey's Barbie doll. It also got stuck in the tree.

I played in the canal with Gabi, Leigha, Audrey, Nora, and Belle. It was nice and refreshing because the weather was so hot and humid. We tried to sit in a shallow plastic box and float down the canal, but the water wasn't deep and the box overflowed in a matter of seconds.

I also saw Audrey's cat Julius for the first time in a few years. I remembered him as being a frail, skinny young cat, but now he's an enormous, healthy cat. He is seriously so big I could use him as a comfortable pillow. His meow sounds funny.

I also saw Belle's dog Cookie, who is still as small and smelly as I can remember.

We went to a zoo and saw peeing bobcats, loud peacocks, and wolves. We got snow cones and swung on the park swings. I had fun talking to Aunt Melanie and fooling Leigha with a ridiculous story about the Swinging Olympics in Canada when I was five, in which I won thirteen gold medals and outswung Chuck Norris.

I also saw one of the bunnies at Grandma's house! They didn't believe me because I said it was orange and they said there wasn't an orange one. Then how come I saw an orange one?

And we painted big planks of wood and I did a painting of faerie silhouettes at nighttime. It turned out lovely and everyone liked it! We're going back on Thursday because Mom is visiting in her boyfriend in Provo. Barrett gets to meet my cousins and see my grandma's house! I'm so excited!

shower time

I can't remember what was going on yesterday (that , but the day before that, I finally got a response to my message:

Me: so, he still hasn't unblocked me...and i've been crying about it at night...my mom doesn't really have any advice. i still still see pictures and references of him here on facebook...but he is nowhere to be found. have you already asked him why he blocked me and he didn't say anything of said "don't tell emma why" or something...? i've just been really depressed about it lately and i need help. i'm going back into PSR services 'cause of this, and i requested it. ugggh. please help :(

Shelby: Emma, you need to stop making yourself sick over him... I'm sorry... this is what he said. " ...i um...shes really sorta...clingy? i think is what im going for, its kinda weird and annoying...so ya...im a douchebag" I know you hate to hear it but I want you to know the truth.


I took a long shower the next day. Mom had said, "Be quick", but I took an extra-long time and shaved. I was standing there looking at the ceiling for awhile. I was thinking, "Maybe it's for my own good. He thinks I'm annoying...so what? I can be annoying by myself."
But I'll find a guy someday...a guy that wants to get married in the temple and loves me for me!

Er...maybe.

crying in trees

Last night around midnight, I went outside. Mom was talking on the phone, and I knew she would hear the door open, but I didn't think she'd bother to follow me. In fact, this morning she told me that she heard the door open and said to her new boyfriend on the phone, "Well, whoever it was, they're bound to come back inside, so I'm not worried about it."
And so I went outside without anyone stopping me.


I was hugging my downy-feather pillow to my chest and burying my mouth in it. I walked to the left, over to the old lady next door's house, and I climbed her tree. I brushed myself off in case of any ants and sat there for around fifteen minutes, crying. I don't want to say why I was crying, but I was.
I half hoped for Mom to come outside and comfort me, but she didn't. It was better that I was alone, anyway, because I've been crying over the same thing for months now.
I just don't like my life. It's rotten. Most people who read this, I presume, will think, "Oh, her life is fine. She shouldn't whine about it." Well, go ahead and be shallow. I couldn't care less. You don't know what it's like, you haven't experienced it. You think your life is harder than mine. Most people think that their life is the hardest. They think, "No one else knows how I feel", when probably a million other people have gone through the same thing. I guess the same is true for me. But I can't handle it. I go and cry in friggin' trees, dude. I'm not emotionally secure.
I ran out of fluoxetine a few days ago and Mom says it's an antidepressant, so that's why I'm "moody". No, I've felt like this for several months now, and I have no one to vent to. (Unless you count my cat. Lame.)
I need help. At the little meeting today I requested a PSR worker. I used to really hate them, but now I want one. I think they really help. I'm just worried, because my two favorite ones, Amy and Stacy, left after a year.

I miss them. :(

useless

If reality were a dream, and my dreams were reality, my life would be so much better.

i found it!

Not two minutes after writing that last blog, I found my library card.

WOO!

Poor thing. It's been through so much. Like the laundry!

missing library card :O

My library card is missing. *sob* :(

So I'm going to get a new one today! *yay!* :D

I know you have to pay to replace your library card, but I don't know how much. I think it's around two dollars, so I'm bringing all the cash and change money I currently possess--a whole three dollars and thirty-one cents!

I'm tired of trying to check out books...I say, "Can I check out a book without my card? I memorized the number," and they say, "We need some form of ID."

O_O

Should I have some form of identification? I have some middle school cards, but they're missing too...I'll bet I need ID to get a new library card, too! SHOOT.

-_-"

Eh...maybe I'll never be able to check a book out ever again. :(

fireworks = cool

...Unless you have to wait forty-five minutes to actually leave the parking lot.

So, anyway.

We went to the Melaleuca fireworks in Idaho Falls and waited an hour for the guard guy to let us in, then around another hour for them to start. We entertained ourselves by watching a large flock of geese (and one mallard, whom we deemed as Ferdinand from Babe) be swept down the canal.

Then the fireworks lasted around thirty minutes. Half an hour of nonstop intense. (It did start to get a little old for me towards the middle, ha.) Sometimes you'd think it's be the finale, but it wouldn't be. There were hundreds of fireworks. Somewhat bored at the fifteen-minute mark, I started thinking.

I wonder how many fireworks the Melaleuca guy bought? Probably a million. There are a million fireworks in this show. But what if some of them failed? Then he probably got an extra million just in case. So there should be around a million fireworks here--give or take a few. I wonder how much they cost?

^^ These are them! I was much closer, this person was far away...

They're the biggest fireworks on this side of the Mississippi River...though you can't tell from that distance.

I hated waiting in traffic for so long. Grandpa was ornery with the people ahead and behind him.We found a way out, though it was a tight squeeze-- we had to go between two rocks and it was annoying when people would cut in front of you. Some girls in a truck drove right over the flower bed (but it wasn't really a flower bed, it was just dead grass and weeds that wasn't part of the road). Grandpa was angry at them, but Mom and I were laughing. :D

holy crap, there's a bear in my grandma's house

No, not really.

It was a typical family reunion and my dad and I had decided to go on a drive with my uncle. We were passing a field full of cows and a couple of bears--BEARS?! They were attacking the cows! We then drove home in a rush.

At my grandma's house there was a party and all my cousins were there. But then we saw the bear on the porch outside the sliding glass door! He broke the door and came in roaring!

He was so tall, he towered over us and nearly touched the high ceiling. My other uncle pushed the bear to the basement (there's like a balcony that goes around it) and it seemed to be dead. We started migrating towards the front door, but then the bear got back up--it had only been unconscious!

So we ran away out the door screaming as the bear chased us.

whoosh

I am not in a good mood.

Actually, if I really were to describe my mood, I'd tell you that I have no mood at all. I feel blank, like a whoosh sort of mood. I feel isolated and caught in my own pointless existence. I wish I had a friend to go visit. I wish something would happen to me, but instead I sit around the house doing nothing but think about what I wish I was doing. I wish someone would invite me to their house...did you know that no one ever has? I've never gone to play at someone else's house. I'm thirteen, for heaven's sake, and I'm an asocial wreck. I have no social life, and my most recent dream reminds me of that.

Speaking of which, do you know why I write about my dreams? It's because otherwise, there would be nothing for me to write about. My life is just dull right now. I wish I could see my family. I haven't seen them in a year, you know! I'm so lonely. I think that Mom is at physical therapy, so there's no one for me to talk to. Do you know what she said to me today in the car?

"I'm so glad that Ethan and Tristan are such good friends."

Pause.

"I wish you had a best friend, too."

So do I. You needn't remind me. :(

"I mean, besides me. I think I'm cool and all, but don't you think that you need friends your own age?"

Actually, Mom, yes. I do think I need a best friend to talk to. I do need to stop being a weird teenager with no social life. I do wonder what it would be like to have a best friend my age. I do wish I had one. And most of all, I wonder why no one does want to be my friend.

I do feel lonely. I do want to get out of here. I wish I was someone else, and not the dorky kid I am. If I had the choice, I would change into a cat. Then all the other cats would be my friends (as long as they weren't territorial like normal cats) and it wouldn't matter if the humans preferred dogs to me, because I could live my own cat-life with my mate and it wouldn't make a difference to me if humans didn't like me. For all I would care, humans would be big, lumbering, bald animals who had the firm belief that they were the most intelligent creatures in the universe, which they are not. I do not like humans at all. I really wish I was a cat.

Cats are so nice. I have two cats, you know; Willow and Mao Chu. Whenever some imbecile says "I HATE cats!", it makes me sad inside, because I LOVE them. Cats are the only animals I can really relate to. They seem a little like I am. I like dogs, too, just not as much. Cats have the most beautiful quality about them. They're so graceful, and they can be nice, but they're reserved, mysterious creatures...I really wish I was one of them...

...

YOU SEE WHY I'M SUCH A WEIRDO?!

uninvited

I just woke up from my nap after ballet.

I was at my dad's house--but whenever I have a dream about his condo, there are swimming pools and slides everywhere instead of just in the clubhouse, so I like dreaming about his house. I happened to be looking out the window when a huge group of kids ran past--and Shelby and some of my other friends were there, too! I went outside to see what they were doing, and they started having a party, and a lot of the kids were people I didn't particularly like. They had ran around a corner, but I didn't want to follow, because if I wasn't invited to the party, I shouldn't intrude, right? I saw Lindsay sitting on the grass, and I asked her whose party this was, and she said it was Shelby's. I started to cry and ask why I hadn't been invited and why she would do this to me. I watched as they ran around screaming and laughing, but none of them seemed to notice that I was there.

Lindsay said that she didn't know.

odd dream

I had a house, and I was earning money to decorate it. There was a special room that I started to decorate in purple and Ethan was trying to get into it without my permission and I started crying. Eventually he left an I went to visit other people's houses.

Then the scene changed and I was with a chauffeur guy that was helping me on some sort of journey. I fought bad guys and I got on a boat and was riding it on a river...it was odd.

my walk this morning

I went on a walk in my pajamas today in the rain to Maverik--'nuff said.

pet game

I was playing a pet game, except instead of it being on the computer I was in it. I hadn't played for awhile, so my pets were hungry and sick--and one of the kittens was dead. When I put it in the trash can, three new baby kittens magically regenerated and hopped back out. I had pretty much forgotten how to play the game so an old lady showed me how to take care of plants to make food for my pets. The problem was, everything went very fast, which meant that if I spent time caring for the plants, then my pets would get hungry and make a mess, and if I tended to the pets, then bugs ate my plants. So some other people took care of my pets while I tried to get rid of the bad bugs--mostly some giant, creepy mosquitoes that thrashed around and scared me when I took them outside in a cup to kill them. I had the worst time trying to keep the pests bothering my plants under control.

From a few days ago:

The new Poptropica island finally came out! I thought it would be the new pirate island, but instead it was a dragon place. It was kind of lame. Eventually I came to a place with fairies flying around, and I was told that I had to fight a boss, but first I had to collect these little glowy things and I had to learn the boss's name. After I learned it and got the glowy things I continued to the boss and killed it. Then there was a party with fairies and all my relatives were there. Someone said that we could switch bodies with people, so I traded with my cousin Gabriella. I was having fun because she is Asian and I loved her slanted eyes. I walked around a garden place and played with my other cousins, explaining that I was Emma and I had traded bodies with Gabi.

The scene changed and I was in a car-racing video game. I was playing with my uncles and I was creaming them, riding on my weird vehicle that was basically two wheels with handles on them that I just held onto. It was an offroad race and I won.

horseshoe, hurray!

We we to Bear Gulch on Saturday. Mom wanted to see Horseshoe Lake again. We stopped in Ashton (which was under heavy road construction, thought I'd mention that) for snacks, and then headed to the forest. For awhile we were driving through green and gold fields, and then, TA-DA, we were surrounded by the elegant, massive green of the forest! We were awed! Mom took lots of photographs. (By the way, we were in bear country. ^_^)

We were looking for the lake and I expected that we'd never get there. I finally saw the lake through the trees, but we couldn't pull up close to it because we'd arrived at a huge puddle that we'd probably get stuck in. So we got out of the car and started to hike.

Mom was overjoyed to see her lake! She snapped photo after photo. We finally started our trek around the lake. I saw a juvenile delinquents came where they had a barn-looking building for the delinquents to sleep. The roof reached all the way to the ground. We explored the camp

and I thought it might be fun to stay there, but I didn't want to break the law or anything to get there. They had a dock and a floating raft thing in the middle of the lake. The water looked clear and pretty, and I had an urge to jump in and just start swimming! Maybe we can go back and canoe sometime.

We had gone pretty far, but then we reached another section of the lake that we hadn't seen before. It seemed to be composed completely of runoff water, so the ground was terribly soggy. There were fallen trees all over the ground, so I used them to avoid getting my pink Converse shoes wet. We tried to talk as loud as we could to avoid getting eaten by bears. I was pretty nervous about that. I tried to act like I wasn't nervous, but I think it was pretty obvious. Mom was being funny about the wet ground. She said, "Rock--stick--grass!"when she jumped onto different things to avoid soaking herself. We were joking happily as we walked around the lake, and we saw some interesting things--you make what you want of this tree.

Soon the logs and bushes were too thick to go over or through, so we pushed through the thorns deeper to get to dry ground up in the forest. I thought that we would get lost and never find our way back to the car, but we did. By then our pants had streaks of dirt on them and I was tired--again! I'd already gardened that day.

our garden--the first day!

During the afternoon on Saturday (of all times!) we started

working on our garden. Behind our bishop's house across the street is a big field. They told us that we could choose any cleared area to plant that no one has used yet. We chose an area right behind his house so it would be easier to water it. It was next to another family's garden (that didn't look all that professional, but don't tell them I said that) and another that looked pretty nice.

Mom showed me how to plow a row for the tomato plants we bought earlier that week.

I raked the plowed row and we dug holes for the tomatoes and filled them with water. After we had caged them, we did some more rows for marigolds, spinach, broccoli, and beans. Mom

showed me how everything was done and I got pretty good at raking. We got tired, so I went and got us big glasses of milk.

After all of the rows were complete, Mom started making a mountain of dirt. She explained that you put zucchini or cucumber seeds on top so that they have something to grow their vines on. We made three hills and planted the seeds.

Finally it was done! I was exhausted. I felt like I could collapse in the field! I was already smothered in dirt; what difference would it make?

Now all Mom had to do was water the seeds with our hose (which was unfortunately a tad too short, so we had to spray the garden instead). It looked magnificent once it was finished. Sort of something that Martha Stewart would do. I'm so excited for it to grow!

I'm planning on posting more photos as our garden develops, as I said before. I hope it comes out great.

our garden

I hate it when I can't remember my dreams. I was sure I had a great one last night, but I can't remember it now. Maybe I'll remember later...I should write them down the moment I wake up!

Anyway, guess what's happening back in reality? We are going to plant a garden! The ward let us have an empty garden of our choice and so now we are going to grow vegetables and some flowers. I will post pictures of the empty garden soon, and as it develops I will post more pictures. I'm so excited!

Another old dream:

I was sitting in an old shack. Dust and cobwebs covered the old boxes and toys. I wasn't much cleaner than the place; my clothes were sweaty and covered in dirt and my hair was matted. I was kneeling on the floor, looking out the window at a meadow, a beautiful green meadow with a colorful rainbow.

Suddenly the door on the opposite wall opened and someone stepped inside. It was...my crush! I hid my face in my hands; he couldn't see me in this filthy state. He was gently pushing the boxes and toys aside until he reached me.

I looked the other way as he knelt down beside me. I was embarrassed. I looked back out the window at the meadow, and he looked too. I felt as he lifted my hands and entwined his fingers with mine, and we watched the meadow silently.

Kira

(This will only make sense to you if you have seen or read Death Note.)

I was Kira, and my friend Lindsay was Second Kira. We were going about writing criminals' names on our Death Notes and trying to avoid the police. We were prime suspects, but we didn't want anybody's suspicions to be confirmed. We were in an area that looked like the entrance of my grandma's house, but it was larger and it was very crowded. There was a slowly flowing river and a small cavern to our right. The whole place was heavily guarded by police. People bustled around conversing about the Kira case, and Lindsay and I were trying to stay well away from everyone else. We were wearing black full-body suits (sort of like Iron Man) that made us look very suspicious.

We were standing next to the river when two policemen raced at us.

"I'll catch you, Kira, or my name isn't"--he said his name. I wrote it on my Death Note and he collapsed, dead. The other policemen idiotically did the same and died by Lindsay's hand.

Some other officers saw their comrades fall, and they charged at us. Lindsay and I dove into the river and swam into the tiny cavern. It was dark and cramped, but at least the officers didn't see where we had swum.

We crawled deeper into the cavern until we reached our secret room where we had a bunk bed. Lindsay collapsed onto the lower bunk and sighed. She told me that she was sure we'd get caught soon. I told her that we wouldn't be if we tried our best to remain inconspicuous. We took off our black suits as a start and wore regular casual clothes. We left the room by climbing out the window and lowering ourselves using the palm trees outside.

People had gathered in the driveway and were dividing into groups to investigate (ahem, break into) the houses in the neighborhood. We joined a group and set off, racing through dark backyards. Lindsay was always at the head of the group and I trailed close behind her. Soon we came to a yard where someone saw our group, so we hid in the backyard of a completely dark house. It looked like the perfect place to look for evidence (even though Lindsay and I were Kira). We opened the front door (which was conveniently unlocked) and began to search the drawers of the house for books and possible notes concerning Kira. The house was quite eerie, and creepy music played in the background. It was a little less scary when we turned the lights on.

The place seemed suspicious, but of course they didn't find anything. Soon the family's car pulled into the driveway and there was a panicked flurry of people turning off lights and rushing out the back door. Some lights were left on by accident.

I don't think we got caught...that's when my dream ended.

nuclear bombs and other weirdness

I was in a big room with lots of physical challenges, like a small white hill where you had to jump up and grab something at the top. My cousins were there with me and I always lost to them at the challenges and I never won a prize. I was upset at this.

Then the scene changed and I was standing on the outskirts of my hometown, watching as panicked citizens tried to escape and find refuge from the nuclear bombs that Korea was about to launch. I was with three engineers, one a woman and the other two men. We had escaped from town, but we wouldn't be safe from the bomb and its radioactivity. We piled into my mom's old blue station wagon, which apparently was working just fine, and we drove to an old mansion. We somehow were going to survive the explosion by taking refuge in the stairwell fire escape outside. We couldn't let the building collapse on us, though, so we had to stay pressed up against the wall furthest from the house. The female engineer had set up big boards standing vertically above the stairwell in attempt to stop the explosion from reaching us. Now all we could do was wait for the bomb to go off.

We waited anxiously, not knowing if our lives were soon to end or if we would survive. Eventually the bomb went of and the blast violently devastated our mansion. I was terrified. Once the explosion had done its work, I saw that the woman had died--and I had too. But luckily, I still got to watch my dream.

The Koreans had discovered that the bomb had not killed everyone it was supposed to, so the two surviving engineers learned that the Koreans were going to launch the Assassin--a supposedly more deadly weapon than the previous nuclear bomb. The engineers didn't know what to expect from the new bomb, so they continued to cower helplessly in the stairwell. I watched as the bomb went off, but not only was there an explosion, but a flow of boiling lava commenced to flow and smother everything. I watched in terror (in my dead form) as lava poured into the stairwell and killed the engineers.

The scene changed again. I was in something like a giant aquarium with fish, except I was alive and I could breathe. Every once in a while a cloud of black smoke would fill a large section of the aquarium and pull some frightened fish inside. I always managed to avoid it. When the black smoke was absent, the place was relatively cheerful and I talked to other people inside.

I left the aquarium and stood outside with my friend Joseph. There were white pillars outside of it. They looked sort of Greek. We were watching something on a laptop and some other people were with us. Someone was telling us about the nuclear bomb that devastated Idaho and its residents and I was feeling scared and sick. I was standing close to Joseph--too close for comfort if this were reality, but I felt less scared when he was there. I laid my head on my shoulder and he laid his atop mine, and he comforted me as we watched a video of the nuclear bomb.

mustard...or ketchup

An old dream.

I was in the gym at my old daycare, except the floor wasn't there. In its place was a swimming pool with purplish, murky water. On the opposite wall was a short waterslide with a tugging current. I edged along the wall to the waterslide and climbed up. I didn't really want to go in the scary-looking pool, but the current tugged me in and as I fell a giant bottle of mustard (or ketchup, I wasn't sure) exploded to my right. I was submerged by in dark water. All around me was black, but in front of me were what looked like eyes--a hundred eyes on a giant squid. I was scared and swam back to the surface, and despite being frightened already, I went back to the waterslide and climbed back up. This happened repeatedly until I woke up.

another set of drawings

Some really old drawings. I did these during the second trimester of seventh grade (a few months ago, haha). They're not bad...but not good, either.

stupid mockingbird

On an early autumn morning
When the sun was coming out,
A mockingbird alighted
With intents devout,
For all the birds had gathered
And fluttered all about.

For the time for love had come
And new chicks would soon be hatched,
But the mockingbird sighed alone
Because she was not yet matched.

The mockingbird surveyed the
Vast array of birds,
Curiously tilting her head
In search of someone she preferred.
She called out to the expanse
Of feathers and talons,
Hoping she would have a chance,

And no sooner had she sung
Than she saw the perfect bird
A scarlet cardinal who was cocky and young
With dark and sparkling eyes.

Fluffing up her feathers,
And chirping in delight,
The mockingbird decided
That she'd be perfectly polite.
She flew over happily
And cocked her head to the side
And whistled a sweet little tune
That implored that she become his bride.

But cardinal turned his back on her
And stuck his beak high in the air,
For she didn't fit his tastes
And for her chiming voice he didn't care.

In a second flat he had flown
To a flowering brach high above
To croon to a prettier a bird--
An ethereal white and dainty dove.
The mockingbird watched in sorrow
And turned away to fly home
Because maybe tomorrow
Another bird would come along.

When she had finally found her mate,
A cheery little parakeet,
She was quite happy, don't forget
But somehow she felt incomplete.
While flying through the air
In lattice patterns with her love
The mockingbird was reminded
Of the cardinal and his flawless dove.

She felt like she was royalty
When her parakeet was near her,
For he treated her with utmost care
As though she were some priceless treasure.
The mockingbird flew far with
Her handsome parakeet,
Until he was shot to the ground
And landed at a hunter's feet.

For he'd thrown himself in front of her
In attempts to save his wife
For she meant more to him
Than his own shortened life.
It was then that the mockingbird's heart
Was filled clear to the brim,
For now she finally realized
What she meant to him.

She loved the parakeet more
Than any cardinal or bird
And she wanted to be very sure
Her song in his memory was heard.
She sang a pitiful melody
Because at long last, now she knew,
That sparing her life and losing his own
Wasn't something the cardinal would do.

forgetfulness

My mommy made a blog post and she says that she will abandon the internet for awhile...I'm pretty sure that's what she was implying. I don't know what to say to this, because I'm the one who has been pestering her about using the computer frequently, when I actually use it more than she. I feel guilty. I don't know if it's necessary for me to feel guilty, but I feel like I've made Mom sad...I don't want her to be sad. What's more, I forgot that we were going to go to Trish's ballet class today and so I missed it. I was reminded of this by Mom's comments on my Facebook page. I'm thinking this anxiety might be because I also forgot to take my fluoxetine last night.

Ah, I'm so worried. I hope she's not mad at me.

Vacation resorts

I was blog-surfing and I came across a blog whose author has been posting brief summaries of her recent dreams, and I decided to follow suit...call me a faker, a copy-cat, a poser...I don't care. I was inspired. This dream from last night was rather boring. I miss the colorful dreams I had in the past. I will try to write them down here in the near future.

I was at a sanded cliff that had been turned into a vacation resort and I was scared to go on the "slide" because it was really just a sloped, jagged rock falling into the water. So instead I just cannon-balled right off the side of the cliff to swim. Barrett was with me, and we wanted to go to another resort, so I pulled him in a red wagon for what seemed like miles down a rugged, dusty dirt path until we came to the place which was a waterfall with orangey water because the area was caught in constant sunset. This place was not as crowded as the other resort. I had heard from another tourist that it took days to get from one resort to the other, but for some reason Barrett and I had to travel back and forth over and over again. The journey took considerably less time as we walked more and more.

Hopes for summertime!

I have nothing to do.

School ended yesterday and now it is summer!

I'm going to junior high next year and I am scared. I'm nervous for the new school and teachers, and where in the world will my bus stop be? I--am--so--anxious. But at least I have the whole summer ahead of me! Hopefully I can actually take advantage of the new free time instead of being lazy and sleeping in like the last couple years. The only things I really remember ever doing during summer was watching TV, using the computer, doing ad floats for the 4th of July parade and visiting my grandma (during which time I also sat at the computer).

This year will be different!

I want to go boating with my daddy and go tubing in canals! He has this old boat that hardly works. It's very stubborn. It's also yellow...light mustard yellow. :)

With my mommy I will take walks and do other fun stuff! I want to do lots of stuff with my best friend (my mommy).

Maybe I will get out and be more social! I am a very antisocial person. I'd love to have friends over but I get very nervous. Maybe I will build up my courage and get out and hang with my friends and actually learn how to be a friend instead of a person who is always in the house on the computer or in her own backyard jumping on the trampoline.

Trampolines are so cool.

Happy Administrative Professionals Day!

I looked on my calendar this morning and that's what it said today is. So if you are an administrative professional, I really appreciate you!

...No I'm kidding. I don't even care. What's an administrative professional, anyway?

What I want to write about is Mother's Day! I'm not aware of what exact day it's on, but I know it's coming up soon, so I shall blog about it! I shall make a blog dedicated to my mother and her extreme awesomeness when this day arrives!

This is me and my mommy. We are bestest friends, as you can see. My mommy gives me hugs every morning and we like to do fun stuff together. This was when we went to St. Anthony and played by the river. Leigha was there, too.

So, Mommy, your future blog awaits! It will be magnificent! I love you, Mommy.

FB funniness

Facebook is the funniest place on earth. Okay, it's not really a place, but you must admit that it's hilarious what can happen there. My mom accidentally posted something using my profile today about a lovely recipe she made today and said "The kids loved it!" One of my buds, Tessa, came on and said, "But Emma, you don't have any kids." Touche, dear, touche, but I do have a mommy. I got over it after Mom explained everything and my friends were laughing. It really was very funny.

But what's really amusing is some of my "friends" from school who are absolutely desperate for attention. One, for instance, whom I shall not name, often complains that no girl likes him and he talks constantly about how he hates another boy from school, who I shall call BOY. Most girls like BOY (I do NOT), and this other kid likes to throw frequent personal attacks at him. What's really funny, though, is that they always backfire because BOY is well-liked. I tried to continue writing after I posted the screenshot, but it made the format weird, so I'll conclude here: people, don't be imbeciles on Facebook. It backfires epically.

WEIRD KID i say *a kid* is uglier than an elderly blob fish whos with me?

57 minutes ago · Comment ·

BOY

Me!!!

39 minutes ago

GIRL 1

He's nice though!

24 minutes ago

Emma

Why are you so jealous of him? He's just a normal dude and you're more obsessed with him than most girls are.

23 minutes ago ·

GIRL 2

HAHA!!!

21 minutes ago

Emma

Well, he is...

18 minutes ago ·

GIRL 3

Wow!!! i think your uglier than your own butt hole!!! honestly why would u even say that?!?!

8 minutes ago

GIRL 1

Ok girl! That was mean! Harsh x100,000,000

7 minutes ago

Emma

LOL

7 minutes ago ·

GIRL 3

Well he was being mean too

5 minutes ago

GIRL 1

Yah well just because he was mean doesn't mean you need to be mean to.

2 minutes ago

GIRL 3

ok then..whatever..i dont even know u

44 seconds ago

GIRL 1

So idk you either, but that was still mean!

4 seconds ago